B to the I to the G, BIG mistake!

I did a BIG mistake! Capital B, capital I, capital G mistake!
I forgot to pack lunch for school... and I won't be home till 14:30 and I ate breakfast at 6:30. I can't restrict, I don't want a worse relapse than it already is! What to do??
We have a cafeteria here at school, but I can't eat food someone I don't trust has prepared.... it's a major fearfood of mine!
Maybe I just have to challenge myself and fight through it? One baguette won't kill me. Worse case scenior is that it will ruin the rest of my day, but that's really hard to do since I'm going to see Jeff Dunham tonight! I'm really looking forward to that, since I didn't get to travel to the Netherlands this week on a school project...
But I have to look on the bright side of life!

Gotta love Monty Python! especially on tough days like this one.
Stay strong!

About me

I am going to tell you a little about myself, here it goes:
I'm a 17 years old girl with several diagnosis of mental disorders, I was 5 years old when I got the 1st one... So mylife has pretty much swirled arround my mental health and trying to fit in with the rest and be normal. I've been bullied a lot, you can read more about that here. And the past 3 years have been particularly tough. with EDNOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified) that evolved to Anorexia Nervosa, and my other disorders got worse. From May to August, I was in a hospital for 9 weeks all in all. Not much considering, but way too much if you ask me! Never going back!!

But over to something fun!
I'm 176 cm or about 5"9, pretty tall, but I like it
I've got light blue eyes and my haircolor is light brown.
My birthday is on Valentines day... or should I call it "removal day" since I was taken by cesection and not technically born? :P
I'm studying science in upper secondary school and I love it! I've always loved school and learning, not weird considering my mom and aunt are teachers. I'm a high achiever and I don't settle for anything less than an A or at least a B+. Somewhat a good quality, but I tend to have way too high expectations for myself and that's not a good thing. 

I love photography and on crappy days I can completely cut out all my problems by snapping some photos.
I also loooooove chocolate! It tastes like heaven, I literally can't live without it!

I hope you got to know a little bit more about me, and if you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask! 

-M

Recovery is possible

I'm beginning to get my body back. It's scary! But I also like it, because I haven't been in healthy shape for over 3 years now. It actually feels kind of comfortable. But as I said, scary.
I've convinced myself that I won't continue gainig weight forever. My body will get to its healthy weight and stay there, there is if I don't eat more than what's normal. And by that I don't mean not eating a little bit too much of chocolate in one day or have a one day where you almost only eat unhealthy food.
No one gains weight by eating unhealthy once in a while. You gain weight if you eat 5000 kcal a day over a long time and don't move much. Believe it or not, but it's true.

Even though my body is getting healthier, I still have to take enzyms to help my stomach digest food, and a lot of vitamins. I will probably have to do that for some time, months or even years.

Remember! Food won't hurt you, but your eating disorder will. Food is necessary to live. No food = no life.

-M