Yesterday I was going to restrict. I felt humongous and disgusting, but then I read my favourite blog that always helps me through tough times and motivates me to continue recovery, even when I am about to give up (www.living-with-anorexia.blogspot.com) You should really check out her blog, she's amazing!!
But yeah back to me. Like I said, I read the blog and it motivated me to fight, so what did I do? well, I went down the toughest, stressfulest, hardest stairs I've ever have gone down. It's the same stair as I always walk up and down at least once a day at school, but they've never been this tough to climb. I went to the cantine to buy something to eat. Some REAL food, not diet yoghurt or 0% fat products. REAL wholegrain baguette with a cut up meatball, pickle, onion and mustard dressing (!!) It was so good and I didn't let the guilt sneak up on me. No matter how hard it tried, I didn't let it get to me. And I'm proud!
Later that day, I went to the supermarket with my mom and guess who got her pre ed favourite icecream?! Yes, it was ME! Magnum whitechocolate strawberry icecream. It was DELICIOUS!
Did I restrict after that? Nope. I had dinner wich was wholegrain couscous with a soft egg and mini tomatoes. After that I went out to a party. The first one in over a year! Due to my struggles I haven't been able to party, and nope I don't drink. I don't want to. I don't see anything charming with underage youths drinking with the one mission: drink as much as they can in the shortest possible time. But yeah, I had fun with my friends and actually felt like a normal teenager for once :-D I danced like an idiot and laughed like one as well.
My classmates kept saying how glad they were to see me and asking me if I was having fun. They are amazing and so nice! (they know that I'm struggling)
Yesterday afternoon was really nice and I don't regret a thing!
Over and out
-M xoxo
