I am so blessed!

Today has been a pretty good day. It began with the cutest message I've ever gotten on Tumblr where a girl told me that I was her role model. That is huge!! I just couldn't believe it, and still don't. Being someones role model motivates me even more to recover properly, it is such a good feeling know that tou are doing something right!

And it didn't end there!
When I got to school I got such a cute SMS from a close friend of mine saying I light up her world. That is too cute isn't it?

On the way home from school around noon (Mondays and Tuesdays are my short days), I stopped at the grocery store to walk around checking nutrition values (NOT A GOOD THING!), seeing if I should buy some snacks and etc. I don't know why, but walking and looking around in a foodstore really calms me down.  But yeah, I saw these Ben & Jerry's icecream boxes and said to myself "why not?".
It was so tough picking up the boxes, not because they were heavy, but because I have a really hard time buying 'unhealthy' stuff on my own. I always have either my bro or my mom with me. Not this time, no, I did it ALL BY MYSELF!!

I got really paranoid while checking out thinking everyone was watching me, criticizing me, thinking that I didn't deserve that as I am way too huge etc etc etc. My head was exploding and I was about to put the boxes back, but all of a sudden I heard a friendly voice saying : "Good morning" and it was time for my check out. I couldn't back out at that point. That would only look weird, so I paid for the 2 boxes and hurried to put it in a bag so no one would see how disgusting I was.

But then when I came home I began thinking logically again. Maybe the people at the store were envying me for buying this, thinking that they should have bought something like that, that they really got a craving for B&J when they saw my delicious boxes of Cookie dough ice cream and Half baked ice cream. Who wouldn't want those brands???

I have had anxiety attacks, struggled with thoughts and school but I don't really care right now. Someone out there looks up to ME! Me of everyone else, that is just surreal.

I don't care what my head tells me today because I am so unbelievably blessed by everyone around me supporting me! 

This post has become a rumble of things haha, hope it wasn't too messy for you to read and understand  :-)

-M

 I haven’t been feeling particularly good since yesterday. But I won’t bore you with depressing anorexic thoughts, they’re not healthy and I know that. So ignoring those thoughts is the only thing I can do at this moment, or at least try my best to.

Photos from yesterday

Like I mentioned yesterday I brought my camera with me everywhere I went yesterday and took pictures of pretty much anything. I took about 200 photos hehe, only half a gigabite :P Here are some of them:

Friday the 13th

Well, a little mobile blog post is always needed once in a while, right?
I've had better days, to put it that way. Like I said yesterday I haven't been at school for the last two days, so coming back today was difficult. PLUS my psychologist was coming to my school to have my appointment there.
Since I was so anxious I decided to take my camera with me. BEST idea I've ever had! Looking at life through a lense is much easier than facing it yourself! It helps and I have a good time, so why not?
I actually put on make-up today to try to look a little bit pretty, but nooooo... Of course I had to cry like a baby during my appointment, so that was pretty much ruined. Typical. But not weird considering it's Friday the 13th ;) nja, I don't really believe in those kind of things, but it's fun to kid around with.
Aaand I'm feeling kind of rebellious today, so here's a pic of me hehe
P.s. I'm going to try out some new recipes soon and will post them here if they turn out good, so keep up for updates! :)