Day 19

Has your eating disorder ever held you back from something? If so, explain.

It has held me back from so many things.. There have been people gatherings that I haven't been able to go to because I was so afraid of the food and what people think of me. I've missed out in school because I had to stay home to focus on recovery (I was about to relapse). It has held me back on doing things I like and love like having girl nights out, sleepovers, go out to eat, eat my favourite ice cream and simply enjoy life. Now it's my time to get that back.

Day 15

Post a picture of you before you ever developed an eating disorder. What emotions were you feeling in this picture? Describe your picture.

I didn't know what picture I should choose because I don't know exactly when it all started. I mean, I stopped bringing lunch to school in second/third grade, so yeah, you see my problem?

But here's the photo I chose:

This is me and my little brother during the summer of 2009. I wasn't completely ED free there and I remember that on our zoo trip that summer that I didn't want anything from a café there or a free gingerbread cookie they were giving away in a little train that went through some part of the park. BUT if I was hungry, I ate. Or well, most of the time. I didn't know I had a problem during that time, and first now am I "discovering" that I've dealt with an ED for a loooong time now. 

What I am feeling in this picture? I was really insecure since mom was taking a full body photo, but I never even liked those when I was younger so may not be ED related (?) But I was happy. and yeah a bid of a true teenage girl, as you can see by my pose haha! I mean, common, I had JUST finished 7th grade and was like totally grown-up! ;)