My favourite quotes from Looking for Alaska

"The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive."

"I may die young, but at least I'll die smart."

"At some point you just pull of the Band-Aid and it hurts, but then it's over and you're relieved"

"And then something invisible snapped inside her, and that wich had come together commenced to fall apart"
 a.k.a. my life

"That is the fear: I have lost something important and I cannot find it, and I need it. It's fear like if someone lost his glasses and went to the glasses store and they told him that the  world has run out of glasses and he would just have to do without."

"We need never be hopeless because we can never be irreperably broken."

"Scared isn't a good enough excuse. Scared is the excuse everyone has always used."

"When you stop wishing things wouldn't fall apart, you stop suffering when they do."
When I think of it, this one is so true! I really need to follow this quote more often.

"There are always answeres. We just have to be smart enough to find them."

"I go to seek a great perhaps"

And at last but not least, my favourite quote of all time
"Everything that comes together falls apart. Everything. The chair I'm sitting on. It was built, and so it will fall apart. I'm gonna fall apart, probably before this chair. And you're gonna fall apart. The cells and organs and systems that make you you - they came together, and so must fall apart. The Buddah knew one thing science didn't prove for millennia after his death: Entropy increases. Things fall apart."

- John Green, Looking for Alaska

Wide awake

I am wide awake and it’s almost midnight... That wouldn´t sound bad if I didn´t have to get up at 5:30 am to get ready for school. My bus leaves at 7 and I have to shower, eat breakfast and pack a lunch bag, and well to say it mildly: it takes time. Making and packing food for school is extremely hard for me, heh not weird considering I can’t even manage to eat it elsewhere than in the bathroom. Not good, I know :/ But I will work on that J

Of course when I can’t sleep, the internet decides to fail on me...  I’ve been trying to listen to Asleep by The Smiths for quite some time now, but it always stops. Extremely fun!

Why am I awake? I got a pretty good reason for that.
1. Maybe it is because I fell asleep for almost 3 hours after I came home from school today.
2. Maybe it’s because I had a major anxiety attack and I’m still kind of tense mentally and physically. 3. I’m anxious for tomorrow and all the challenges tomorrow will bring.
Or 4., a combination of all the options.
I go for the 4^th alternative.

My day tomorrow looks like this:
5:30 am wake up, shower, eat breakfast, pack lunch and get ready for school
7:00 am take the bus to school
8:00 am 3,5 hours math
11:30 am Eat lunch with my dear best friend
12:00 am/pm Take the bus to town
Somewhere between 13 and 15 I got a meeting with my psychologist. After that I’m going to go to the town’s library to read and look through books, and of course: get some great free internet since it sucks here at home ;)

I just finished reading Looking for Alaska by John Green, AND WHAT A BOOK!!! I’m literally in love! If you haven’t read it, you’ve have to read it. It’s one of those books almost everyone has to read! Of course if you don’t want to, you don’t have to. But I recommend you to read it. After reading it I can feel that something has changed within me. It’s weird. The way I look at the world is different then before. In the beginning of the book it’s just like any other youth literature, but the last part:  OMG!
How can one man write so nicely?! It’s like he isn’t a human, but a man that lives within every single one of us. He writes what everyone’s thinking, combines our thoughts and puts them in contrast with each other. He really makes you think while you read his books. You get to know yourself the more you read his literature. Before I read Looking for Alaska, I didn’t have a clue what my point in being alive was; I mean, why am I here? Why am I exactly me? And who am I? Where would I go if I wasn’t here? How had the world reacted to my loss if I had accomplished suicide some months ago?
After reading it I get it. I have a clue of who I am and why I am here. It’s like I found one of the missing puzzle pieces I´ve been looking for for so long. Now I just have to find the rest. 

Well, my song is fully loaded (FINALLY!)
Good night, sleep tight and don’t let the bed bugs bite!